(009) How NOT to Build a Pyramid

 

By Captain Jennifer Higgins, Federation of Unified Starships

November 24, 2013

 

 

Introduction: In 1994 Lady Asula gave us a brief outline of the purpose for the construction of pyramids.

 

Today Captain Jennifer Higgins of the Federation of Unified Starships tells us how NOT to build them. What follows was scribed telepathically by Uthrania and typed verbatim into a computer. Enjoy the conversation:  

 

(Quote)  

 

Uthrania: On standby for Captain Jennifer Higgins, Lieutenant Rothwell.  

 

Lieutenant Rothwell: Welcome aboard, Sir. The Captain is in her chair.  

 

(Captain Jennifer Higgins is relaxing in her chair. She swivels around to look at me, nods her head and welcomes me aboard with a smile on her face. – Rania)  

 

Captain Jennifer Higgins: Welcome aboard, Captain, and now I would like to summarily begin a new chapter in Diagrams and Textures and Pyramids. Remember that book by Lord Adoni, love?  

 

Uthrania: Aye, Sir. I do.  

 

Captain Jennifer Higgins: The only thing different about this chapter is we are going to modify somewhat the status of our pyramidal structure by telling you exactly how not to build a pyramid which is expected to last centuries after centuries.  

 

To begin with, we do not deal in human laborers. No slaves. No queers, meaning folk who are not so much disoriented to be used as things or machinery. Just because folks tend to be dysfunctional with mental illnesses such as Down syndrome does not mean you should ill mistreat them either!

 

No racial prodigy to be tantalized with gold and alms just to get them to draw you up the diagrams. ‘Good God!’ as you say! People are to be respected and treated as human beings no matter their racial back comings!  

 

Now that we have that settled, let me tell you that you cannot drag the cut rocks up the slopes of a multi-diagonal pyramid. They are not really rocks in the first place.  

 

You do not glue them together and you do not cement them together.  

 

You have no idea either how to embed the necessary radio equipment within the stone of the walls and make it invisible and untraceable to men and women with equipment.  

 

You have no capstone which would serve the purpose of lighting up the skies to a natural hue which would attract the vibrational waves like radio and satellite waves to the starships.  

 

In fact, you have no idea how to build a solid pyramid which would not collapse on you from an even 45 compound degree N S E W.  

 

Good! Now you know how not to build a pyramid, let me give you some real tips on a how to plan.  

 

(End quote)  

 

Watch for another note in the near future where she informs HOW to build them. The design and manufacturing criteria are exceedingly stringent. See you then! Oh really...?

Home